Traditional Gender Roles And WHY I Will Probably NEVER Get Married

Traditional Gender Roles And WHY I Will Probably NEVER Get Married

By Anise Smith

I was raised by my father and paternal grandmother since I was three months old so I started my journey in this world in a very non-traditional manner and have not ventured into the traditional at any point in my life.  I have no plans to change the path of my journey anytime soon.


Growing up with a strong male influence in my life and a maternal influence that was one generation removed I tended to take on a lot of strong male characteristics, not in appearance or persona but more in a life philosophy aspect.


My father, I’m sure was pretty much out of his element in raising a girl so he of course led as a man and taught me a lot of lessons that he may not have taught me, if I’d had a strong maternal influence in my life growing up.  Although my grandmother was a strong influence as well, she did see things in a different way because she was older.  Growing up with a strong paternal influence has really molded me into the woman I’ve become and in the most positive way.


Growing up in a very non-traditional household I was taught independence at a very early age and although I was exposed to traditional gender rolls I just never embrace them at all.   I never felt as if I needed to embrace traditional gender roles at all, the thought was honestly on the “seriously what the hell for” list.


There’s nothing wrong with being strong

My father taught me about creating a life in which I would always be dependent on myself financially. This pushed me further into the mindset of rejection of traditional male/female roles in life. By the time that I purchased my second home I was firmly set in my ways, loving it and embracing every minute of it.


My lack of willingness to embrace traditional gender roles is one of the reasons that I will probably never get married, not that it’s ever been on my radar.  Also, In addition to getting older, more set in my ways and having a strong aversion to sharing my stuff, I just really can’t wrap my mind around a traditional male/female gender role at this stage in my life.


The older I get the more I reject the idea that I MUST fit into roles created during a totally different era.  Roles that were created during era and time when women did not have the same opportunities that we do now.


Being single isn’t being passed over

The thought that I should come home after work and that I am expected to get dinner ready while a male counterpart with two hands of his own would not have the same expectation because of a gender role, is ludicrous. Additionally I reject the expectation that my lot in life would be to increase my workload by double if not more by embracing those gender roles.  According to said unreasonable gender roles it would be expected that I would double my cleaning duties, double my cooking duties and double my laundry duties. In return I get someone to take out the trash occasionally and mow the lawn? Is there a perk in this scenario for me? Ok, there could be one other perk but again another post altogether. Ummm…. OK, bygones. Either way, no thanks.


Being raised as a bit of a free spirit free of, or I should say after rejecting the expectation that I would fall into the gender role trap, why would I at this late stage in life embrace this? What’s in it for me? Friends of my fathers that constantly feel the need to question WHY I have no interest in marriage prompted this line of thinking. I am pretty sure that the interest on their part is selfish, as they’d like to dominate more of his time and eliminate the dinners and strategy meetings that we have every week.


All of these questions opened the door to the conversation with my father that my single friends and I with the same life philosophy on gender roles. I just strongly object to even the expectation that I was put on this earth to fulfill any type of gender role, just to have the “privilege” of matrimony.


As women become more independent, we embrace and conquer more challenges in life we have to really look at the choices that we are making. We have to decide if the path we are taking is the path that is expected because it is the norm or are we going on the path that best fits what we really want as women.

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