It’s February again. When I think of February I think of Valentines and when I think of Valentines I think of couples and love. What makes a relationship work? Is it so much different for new couples than more established couples or is there one common secret that holds everything together? I decided to ask some friends and coworkers what has made their relationships successful and the following is what they shared.
Melanie: “We have been married for 10.5 years. I truly respect my husband (most of the time, hahaha, just kidding) and he really does love me through all my un-loveliness.”
Kaye: “We’ve been married 38 years and are still crazy in love. The relationship works for many reasons, but the most important is that we have a Christ-centered marriage. Being able to talk about things from a Christian perspective and pray together puts stability into our relationship. I still think he’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”
Teresa: “22.5 years Well. Hmm. For us time is important. We share each other’s lives and interests. We have already started talking about what we will do when our kids are grown.”
Beth: “18 years July It’s a work in progress. I stay busy, so to do that I compartmentalize. I realized there was an issue when I made a comment about music time, and he asked when was ‘his time’. Since then we are intentional about weekly dates. My favorite is sort of cheesy, but it works for us: On Thursday we go to Willy’s Mexican and share an order of nachos before I go to music practice.”
Seth: “Only been married for 4 years, so I have no clue as to how mine works!”
Betsy: “Mark and I have been married for 26 years. We are pretty independent of each other. It’s not for everyone, but having a ‘divide and conquer’ approach works well for us. It may be because we worked together for years, and it bled over into our personal life.”
Just being together is special
Knikkolette: 21 years. “It’s hard for me to say. We have common interests but we also have our own interests. It’s good to have a good balance.”
Amanda: 2 years. “Notice all the little things. Don’t go to be angry if possible. Give each other plenty of space so that neither of you loses your individuality and leave jealousy out on the curb. Also, laugh a lot! Laugh at yourself, laugh at each other and laugh every chance you get because it will help get through those days when there isn’t much to smile about.”
Is there a magic formula? Sure there is! It’s whatever works for each couple. One size does not fit all. The main thing is just sharing love and friendship with each other. Being supportive and loving your spouse/partner even more when they seem to be at their most unlovable. It goes to show, even in today’s society of divorce and short-lived marriages, people can make it. Hope you and yours have a Happy Valentines Day!
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