My Mom Always Said Girls Were Made Of Sugar & Spice

My Mom Always Said Girls Were Made Of Sugar & Spice

By Knikkolette Church

I swear I remember walking up the aisle to the cockpit to sit on the pilot’s lap even though I wasn’t even two. I had my second birthday here in the states. Born in Seoul, South Korea, I was adopted and one of the only non-Caucasian students in a tiny school in a very small rural town where I grew up. I looked more like an American Indian than Korean. If looking different than everyone else in the school wasn’t challenging enough I was also raised Catholic deep in the Bible Belt where everyone was either Baptist or Methodist. Strike 2. Add the fact my maiden name is “Fahrendorf” – combine that with teenagers’ imagination and you get some vulgar combinations and hurt feelings.

Even though I was shy, and couldn’t really talk to people, I had the confidence to try out for cheerleading, teach dance, compete in the local beauty pageants (and win). You get what appears to be a stuck up bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone else – when in reality – I was just shy.

I was that weird girl who liked school – I ruined the curve by studying on the bus to and from the games. Did I care how it would affect everyone else? Not really. I may have been shy, but I didn’t take shit from anyone.

I grew up in a household where my mom waited on everyone hand and foot. If someone wanted something to eat or drink, she would prepare it for them. Even if we were all watching television and she was in the kitchen preparing dinner, we would call out to her asking for something to drink, she would stop what she was doing and bring us what we wanted.

Spicie from day one!

Spicie from day one!

I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I realized this was just wrong and I quit participating in this family “ritual”. I vowed I would NEVER be subservient in this manner, and I would make sure my family appreciates whatever I do for them because they will be doing their part. I could never get her to stop, she said she enjoyed it. I suppose that was part of the generation she was raised in.

I also don’t remember exactly how old I was, probably 11 or 12, when I watched my mom have a heart attack – thankfully she did not succumb to it and lived until age 74. We all recovered from that experience, a little worn, but a lot wiser. I remember Johnny Carson was on T.V. My dad had already gone to bed and it took what seemed like forever for me to snap out of it and go get him. I don’t know how long it really took. Time seemed to stand still that night. I don’t remember the last time I thought of that night. I don’t like to think about it.

Like many of the other Spicie ladies, I experienced my share of troubled relationships. Guys who didn’t treat women like ladies, who lied, etc. Each experience made me stronger because as one relationship ended, I vowed never to date “that guy” again and I never did. I don’t dwell, I learn and move on. That’s what I do.

There are so many more things I could add that I think would “qualify” as Spicie, but we’ll save those for another day.

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  1. Justin M. Breedlove says:

    Great post Knikkolette!

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