Spicie’s Seven Step Guide To A Healthy Breakup

Spicie’s Seven Step Guide To A Healthy Breakup

By: Carrie Eckles

A breakup can wreak havoc on you body, heart, and soul. They don’t call it heartache from nothing. The trauma from the pain can cause all sorts of physical and emotional symptoms. Some women find themselves doing and saying things they never thought they would before the relationship ended.

But, as the Rocky Horror Picture Show tells us, “There’s a light in the darkness of everybody’s life.”

Things do get better and it’s definitely possible to deal with a breakup in a healthy manner.

1. GIVE HIM SPACE.Don’t be clingy after the breakup. In fact, he might’ve mentioned something about being space — he wasn’t kidding. Guys need their space; seeing their ex everywhere isn’t going to endear you to them.

Instead, find something else to do (literally and figuratively). Chances are, you had common friends and shared hobbies. That leads us to the next tidbit.

2. PICK UP A HOBBY.

Sitting at home and staring at a blank wall just isn’t healthy. And, if you’re avoiding your normal activities because your ex will be there, find some new ones. The world is a big place. If you and your were into sports, take in a show from a local band instead. You won’t see him there AND you’ll get the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends.

 

It’s OK to move on

3. REMEMBER YOUR SELF-WORTH.

It’s not you — it’s him. Keep your chin up and know that you’re better off without him. Anyone who would leave you doesn’t deserve you.

4. REMEMBER WHAT YOU ENJOY.

Chances are, if it didn’t work out, you probably gave up a thing or two that was important to you because it bothered him and he was being a whiny baby. Whatever that thing is, get back to it. Say you gave up playing the violin. Whip out that stringed instrument and get to fiddling. Embrace what you used to love. Sometimes it may feel like you’re rebelling against his iron rule — that makes it extra good.

5. COMMUNICATE YOUR FEELINGS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY WILLING TO LISTEN.

After a bad breakup, there’s a great temptation to tell your woes to anyone who will listen. Don’t do that. Instead, pick a few close friends — or a therapist who gets paid for it — and vent. Venting is good. It clears out the clutter in your mind, making way for more positive thoughts.

No Regrets!

6. STAY POSITIVE.

You will find love again. Always remember that. Just because it didn’t work out with jerk-face doesn’t mean it won’t work out with the next guy.

7. ALLOW YOURSELF TIME TO HEAL.

If you really loved him, even if he was a jerk, you’re going to grieve. Give yourself that time, but keep it constructive. Don’t dwell.

Another aspect of healing is not jumping into another relationship right away. It’s not fair for New Guy and it’s not fair for you.

Use this post-breakup time to remember the wonderful things about you, define yourself without a man. That way, when you meet someone new, you’ll be prepared to put yourself first and keep your eye out for a new guy who will add wonderful things to your life instead of taking them away.

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