Making Peace With The Removal Of Toxic People From Your Life

Making Peace With The Removal Of Toxic People From Your Life

By Anise Smith

As children we have allegiance to our friends and family, sometimes blindly so. This is not a bad thing because as children we tend to be very trusting of all because in most circumstances there’s not a reason to feel differently. If we are lucky we can hold on to a little bit of this innocence as we go through adolescence, and to adulthood. Unfortunately this is usually not the case. There is something that shakes us out of the reality that we experienced in our childhood innocence.  This is called life.

Life as an adult differs drastically from what we experience as children and the biggest thing is making tough choices. Questioning the life choices that we make can sometimes create indecisiveness about the choices that have been made or create reluctance when it is time to make those choices.

No one has time for drama

One of the tough life choices that I have been faced with in the past is the removal of toxic people from my life. It has made me live up to a life’s philosophy, “Find The Source Of Your Unhappiness And Get Rid Of It.” I must say that, although it was a hard choice to truly embrace this philosophy, it has been very lightening of mind, body and spirit. Removal of toxic people in my life regardless of the relationship has helped me to become a much happier person.

A few years ago I had a realization through a loss that I was surrounded by people that were really unhappy, miserable and quite frankly just mean spirited.  The actions, attitudes and personalities of these people affected me although I didn’t believe so at the time.  I only realized HOW much I was affected by the cancerous drip of toxicity after I removed myself from the lives of these toxic people.

I made the hard choice a few years ago to eliminate ALL toxic people and situations from my life regardless of relationship, friend, family, frenemy, foe or any other designation. This was a life altering change for me!

The beginning of the journey started after a lot of change in my life and was fueled by an unexpected trip to Key West. Although at the time that I went to Key West I didn’t think that it would be life altering but it was. The life altering was not in a lightening bolt, kind of way but really more of a period of reflection sort of way. The trip to Key West gave me a few days to look at where my life had been, where I need it to be and WHO I wanted to be a part of it.  After the reflective period in Key West, quite a few changes happened and the end result was a newer, happier me.

One of the things that the Key West trip did was give me an opportunity to slow down and analyze my life and the people that I chose to affiliate myself with. The result was a realization there were a lot of people that I absolutely loved having in my life and then there were those that I could do without. The people that were the ones that I could do without were the people that were toxic to themselves and those around them.  Wow, what an Oprah Ah-Ha moment.

The Ah-ha was for me in a nutshell was, as we deal with the toxic people we really don’t realize how their actions, attitudes and general life philosophies can affect us. It can sometimes be a hard choice to remove the toxicity but it is a choice that you must make. Again this is one of those hard adult choices that need to be made.

Part of being your best, is rolling with the best!

Elimination of these people regardless of relationship, although hard is the best and only choice you can make if you want to embrace the inner happy person that is trying to escape through the boundaries of negativity that you embrace by allowing the toxicity of others to invade your being.

I had an opportunity over the past few months to look at what I have left behind and I realize that I do not miss what was not in my best interest. Additionally, that I am NOW at the happiest point in my life due to having the strength to make life altering choices.

Removal of toxic people is like the shedding the heaviest of coats, which results in a lightening of the mind, body and spirit.

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  1. RoseMarie Polidora says:

    Hi Anise, I have recently dealt with elimnating toxic people/situations from my life. It’s great when we’ve made the decision to do so, but what method do you suggest doing it? Those relationships that I have decided were draining and not in my best interest, questioned me and became quite nasty & insulting when I tactfully explained my reasoning. They showed another side I did not know existed. Also, how do you deal with a Parent who is emotionally detached, condescending and believes the world revolves around them. It’s difficult to cut oneself off without feeling some guilt. Any suggestions/advise? Thank you. Sincerely, RoseMarie

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