Don’t Pity The Single Mom

Then and now

I am a single mom and I am happy to play the role of molding another person into a wonderful human being.  I don’t feel as if I need to be pitied, or that I’ve taken a wrong turn in life.  I like my life, I chose the route that I wanted to take and I am not suffering.

I had a conversation that started with a Facebook post about education and ventured into a new area. One of the things that was discussed involved parenting and how some “cultures” should do better with raising their children, we should not curse around our kids, we should be there for our kids, we shouldn’t be trash buckets and all of the other misconceptions about being a single mom.

People are under the misconception that single moms are living in trailers, eating Cheetos and swilling cases Mountain Dew while aspiring to be the next pole dancer on Jerry Springer’s stage.   We are also, NOT uneducated housing project dwellers listening to rap music with 5 kids by 4 baby daddy’s (yes I said baby daddy) watching Maury Povich while waiting for our welfare check.  Neither of these scenarios are a true representation of being a single mom. Yes, of course this may apply to some but it is not the norm.

In some cases women who are NOT interested in getting married opt to have children because they, simply want to be mothers. I never wanted a husband and the older I get the more I realized that marriage is NOT what I want for myself.  Although I never wanted to be a picket fence dwelling, joint back account having, mini van-driving wife, I did always picture myself as a mom.  I don’t knock marriage at all; I just object so strongly to gender roles and I KNOW that I would probably be the worst wife in history. Therefore, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s just not for me because I think I am too much of a free spirit.  I believe I would wake up one day and look at a husband and think, what the hell are you doing in my house? Go home!  So, needless to say, marriage to some poor unsuspecting soul, would probably NOT be a good fit.

So I selected to be a single mom when the opportunity presented itself.  At the time I was 32 years old, I had a good job, a home, a car and was quite ready to dedicate my life to molding a little human being.

AFTER becoming a single mom, I returned to school and graduated when he was 9 months old. I didn’t quite count on job, pregnancy and school but rocked them all until one day before I welcomed my bundle of joy into the world. I completed 4 classes in 5 months, while working full time and taking care of my son, to finish my Bachelors in Business.

I later went on to complete my Masters in Internet Marketing when he was 10 and started a business when he was 11. So pity is not exactly what I am seeking, unless you’d like to contribute to my student loan bill. Seriously, life is really what you make it and as a non-traditional sort I just can’t think of a more perfect life.

The Key to accomplishing single motherhood, or any goal, is having a plan and the motivation and drive to get it done. Single motherhood is not impossible if it’s something you want AND if you don’t mind a nontraditional life.

Ultimately, no matter how much money I make, what position I hold and/or what businesses I create, being a mom to my son will be my single greatest accomplishment.